Most mornings I go to the food court at work to get a little pick-me-up (diet soda.....don’t judge me). And every morning I bear witness to a thing so utterly befuddling and vexing.....that I must speak up......so I sent the management the following email:
Good afternoon,
I pass through the food court most mornings around 9:30 or 10 am.....and have made an observation I would like to give some feedback on. You see, most mornings when I’m in the food court there is a guy mopping the floor, cordoning off half of it at a time....all while the breakfast rush is still steady. It’s maddening I tell you! Maddening!
It’s not that I don’t appreciate your attention to a spotless floor.....it would make Mr. Clean himself proud and give you his infamous wink of approval.....but do you have to do it at 9:30? Really......9:30?
It’s just that I spend most of my time in the mornings navigating around the 20 yellow “wet floor” signs like I’m practicing to be a stunt driver for the sequel of “The Italian Job.” Of course, I think it goes without saying that I would be the character played by Mark Walberg based on physical likeness...but I digress.
It’s not that I’m saying, “don’t mop the floors”, I just think there might be a more rational time to do this inconvenient chore......oh, how about in that weird Bermuda Triangle of time space between 10:30 (when breakfast ends) and 11:30 (the earliest time any sane person would eat lunch).
I’ll make you a deal, if the mop guy can wait until after 10:30, he can mop the floor so vicariously that the employees can have a nice rousing game of “slip-and-slide” and it would take a reincarnation of Moses himself to part the waters so that a customer could get to the Sbarro. You can even let Moses borrow the mop for a makeshift staff....but make sure you don’t let him drop it, because it may turn into a snake....and that’s a whole other bag of trouble.....but I digress.
Sincerely,
Rangi
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