The Elevator Nagger
If you are waiting for an elevator and someone else has already hit the up/down button.....restrain yourself. I know it sounds crazy, but hitting the button multiple times as if you are typing out a novel in Morse code doesn’t make it get there any faster.
Appropriate Response: “Thanks, I wasn’t sure I got it right the first time, especially since that light came on and all. But maybe this one is different than all the others I have ever ridden in.”
The Impeder
You’re approaching an elevator, people are already inside, but the doors are closing. You could wait for the next one.....but then you get the urge to throw your arm in between the doors kung-fu style minus the “hi-ya!” (although that would actually make it acceptable) so that the doors will reopen, forcing everyone already inside to wait for you get on before they can proceed with their day.
Appropriate Response: Please tell me you have a cape under that shirt....because I’m hoping that you can fly around the earth counterclockwise like superman fast enough to turn back time.....so I can get my 10 seconds back you just wasted.
The Awkward Passenger
You’re a “people person”. That’s great....but the rest of us aren’t. The elevator is not a place you go to meet new people. No chit-chat, no facing toward the back of the elevator in order to maximize eye contact with everyone else. Let’s face it, at times we’re all crammed in there like cattle, let’s not get all personal ok.
Appropriate Response: None....at all.
The Wall-e People
If you take an elevator to go up or God forbid down one floor......everyone else has the right to make fun of you....lazy pants.
Appropriate Response: “You should start putting some money aside for one of those segways....heck let me make a donation.....I would hate for you to have to......uh, walk anywhere......lazy pants”
Appropriate Response: “You should start putting some money aside for one of those segways....heck let me make a donation.....I would hate for you to have to......uh, walk anywhere......lazy pants”
